Messages

I know some of you will ask...

I am doing great! Something interesting happened the other night and it has improved my situation dramatically (along with Spectral Dragon's Help).

I went to bed Monday night after reading several chapters of Carol Rutz's book, "A Nation Betrayed" (you know, the woman I keep talking about that was a child test subject of MKULTRA http://my.dmci.net/~casey/ I highly recommend the book and you can get it off of her website). I was really depressed when I went to bed...this woman had electric shock therapy done to her to create multiple personalities, personalities that could be programmed to be a spy, an assassin, whatever. Among other things, she was brought to the Michigan Upper Penninsula, stripped naked, all had limbs dislocated and was repeatedly raped by her doctor while the men around her told her what a "good little girl you are, We love our little girl." On another occasion she was driven by her father to an airport hanger and brought to a place where child subjects of MKULTRA were stripped naked and placed in hanging cages for long periods of time,...every time a child nodded off, they would be prodded with electric prods by some guy with long finger nails, I mean just gross. I recognize some of the techniques that were being used...my emotions were repeatedly cloaked so I couldn't feel them but I was astrally raped and molested and felt my body react. I couldn't feel anything, was having all my boundaries annihilated, but I was repeatedly, sexually touched in the right way to produce a pleassant reaction that I was allowed to feel. You're human, you can't just not live without emotions. You have to feel something. I resisted for the most part, but I won't lie, I cracked every once in a while. I went to bed feeling sick, feeling like all the hell and torture I am going through was based on researching the torture of a 4yr old Carol Rutz done some 40yrs ago. It made sick!

I had problems falling asleep, finally did, but then woke up in the middle of the night. I felt a presence and some how realized it was a group of positive greys. Something was being done to my energy and the protective seals around me. Then I heard a voice speaking to the negs in the room saying, "We're going to let you in." I was really wondering what was going to happen. I felt the grasping and clawing and pushing on me and occasionally heard, "I want in" but they didn't get in, they couldn't get in!

The next day I told Spectral Dragon, he did a search on me after noticing that the seals had been altered...apparently my will is strong enough now, I am keeping them out. But there is also something else. SD found a device attached to me that is giving me energy...neutral energy not positive or negative. IE, I am being given energy but I decide which polarity to use it for. My free will has been honored and respected for the first time in 6 years.

All in all, I feel great and positive about the future for the first time in a long time.

I've had just about enough of this. THis is a conversation Mayatnik had with me at the end of December 2003:

MAYA says:
Greetings !  
I saw your recent post on the Reptilians thread...... Eccellent, balanced and just what was needed !  Much appreciated by me... and hopefully will hit its mark with those who have not thought about all this that is happening now.

Dark Knight says:
Yes

Dark Knight says:
Thank You

MAYA says:
I could have sent that by email, but I much appreciated your thinking and foresight, so value your friendship on Messenger anytime you want to chat about any subject.

Dark Knight says:
Thank you

MAYA says:
Please don't feel we have to talk about 'spiritual' matters (whatever that word means).... I have many contacts on Messenger from the AP, and with quite a few we don't even approach that 'subject'...... nevertheless, there is great value in interchange of any kind, and we all gain much by interaction.

Dark Knight says:
It's nothing personal...I just walked in the door after driving from the American Midwest all the way back to the American East Coast. Tomorrow I have to go back to a job I'm unsure about and somehow have got to make work, given all the debt I'm in thanks to the last two daffy dimwits I received "help" from. I've had to compromise so much of myself to stay afloat, I'm not sure there is much left

Dark Knight says:
of "me".

Dark Knight says:
I'm tired, and would like to just take a break from life for about 5 years. It's not going to happen.

Dark Knight says:
I'm trying to figure out whether or not to talk to you right now or not. I don't know, that's the problem.

MAYA says:
I understand completely.   I didn't want to disturb you, since you'd only just come 'online' on my list.....and I merely wanted to show my appreciation of your input on the AP in general, and that one I mentioned in particular.  As to you being unsure, tired and not knowing whether you 'want space' right now, all I can say is that sometimes a chat for as long as you feel like, is often a 'reviver'

MAYA says:
but I am happy to talk now, or at another time.  I am here for when you want to talk, without pressure.

Dark Knight says:
Can you help me with one thing for a moment

MAYA says:
Anything you want.  

Dark Knight says:
I made a small breakthrough only a few blocks from arriving at my house. I started hearing someone talk to me, but I have learned too often that the ones on my case impersonate and take advantage of situations to so I constantly stay tuned in to them. Can you at least ask my guide, the greys, whoever, with whom I was hearing just a few short blocks from home. I am trying to differentiate between

Dark Knight says:
energies. I don't like asking for outside help, becomes to easy to become addicted instead of doing it myself. But I have no reference, it all feels the same. That's why I ask.

MAYA says:
I know your 'situation' in all this......and the first thing I have to say is, that I merely help people to examine what is there before them, not give the 'answer' - because that would defeat the object of the lessons given to you by the guides.  I can ask the guides, mine OR yours or others.anything specific you want to ask...and then we could talk about it if you wish.

Dark Knight says:
Go head

MAYA says:
What would be your first main question about this then?

Dark Knight says:
Maybe I should just let them supply whatever. Can you open and see if they have any comment about anything (including saying nothing at all).

MAYA says:
Yes.  Let them 'supply whatever', certainly.  Because closing or blocking or even differentiating by 'conditioning' would not take you forward, quite obviously.  But, what is being presented is subtle, and not 'face value' in many respects, so don't look for the 'obvious' as it seems to come over here.........there is a reason why the guides are presenting things to you in this way at this time.  

MAYA says:
And that we could talk about here, or you could ask specific questions of your guide here (through me -- or even direct..... but relay to me the 'response' they give, so that we can discuss what is so presented).

Dark Knight says:
I need my guide, honestly

Dark Knight says:
I'm not even sure if I have one

MAYA says:
You DO have a guide........and your guide wants to have communication with you.....but it is at the moment not easy for you, for varioius reasons, so your guide is 'presenting' scenarios... often 'impersonating' in order for you to walk through  various 'experiences' that will lead you eventually to clarity in this...... there is a strong element of 'conditioning' breaking that is being done here.

MAYA says:
What I can do here, to help, is to 'monitor' any dialogue you have with your guide.....so  that I can verify to you whether you are receiving correectly, and what the 'content' is about.

Dark Knight says:
Of course, I was brainwashed for God sakes, I have to be deprogrammed. I assisted my perps the first 4 years and didn't even know it

Dark Knight says:
Hang on

Dark Knight says:
Give me 3 minutes, unless, how much time do you have?

MAYA says:
I'm fine for time......you do what you need to do........ I'll be here wheever for as long as you like  

Dark Knight says:
Give me three minutes.

MAYA says:

Dark Knight says:
Hang on, but while yo're waiting does my guide have a name

Dark Knight says:
Or too many names

MAYA says:
At the moment you do not have a 'specific' guide.  You have a number of guides (which amounts to the same thing, except that they are working to a 'plan' for your benefit, according to a 'supervisor' guide).  I know the name of your 'current' guide, Mela, but it can be any number - and at this time it is not important as they work a 'shift system' ... but each knows ALL about you.

Dark Knight says:
Oh lovely

Dark Knight says:
Human, ET, angelic

Dark Knight says:
ALL

MAYA says:
How you 'view' them is according to your perception, and your will to cross frontiers.  As you know, many like to think they are talking to their 'higher self' .....all talk THROUGH their higher self, and beyond that........well, that we can talk about for a moment....to see how you view things....ok?

Dark Knight says:
I'll live without it

MAYA says:
Ok

Dark Knight says:
Who is attacking me, or is it a guide effort

MAYA says:
Nobody is 'attacking' you as such......but you feel attacked......that is the 'effect' due to how things have been in the past........ You are not under threat from them at all, but in the past you have been 'imprisoned', severely repressed and even tortured BY HUMANS.  The guides are not like that, but you are being presented with scenarios for you to break free of those past chains.

Dark Knight says:
No government involvment, or am I taking you too literally

MAYA says:
I know exactly how they work,  because when I first started I was presented with ALL those things you have described in your posts....and I had to work through the various 'experiences' and treat them as a 'task'.

MAYA says:
There is no government involvement in RV-ing you.........they can not RV an individual UNLESS the guides permit......they knoow this, and it is well documented by them anyway that they are often frustrated when they have tried.  So don't worry about that.

Dark Knight says:
But there IS government involvment?

MAYA says:
There is no government involvement in this, Karek assures me on that.

Dark Knight says:
Jet black leathery skinned looking things?

MAYA says:
Me: Are such beings confronting DK?
K:  No.  It is a 'front face' that is being presented by a guide.  This along with 'words' paints a picture for DK to examine in a practical way by interaction with these 'beings' presented.  The task here, is to interact.....and to talk only if those 'beings' are polite.....otherwise there is no point in conversation.

Dark Knight says:
I'm in a holodeck confronting things that aren't real...like a training

MAYA says:
Very much so.

MAYA says:
You can benefit greatly from those situations.  They are closely monitored as to how they progress or not......and the next 'scenario' will be the result of how you deal with each.  

MAYA says:
I have interacted with ACTUAL beings (not my guide 'impersonating') and can deal with those diplomatically too with benefit to THEM by that interaction.........but you will NOT be given that opportunity until you are fully ready and can deal with ease in any such situation.  This is merely 'training'.

Dark Knight says:
So the government may actually come after me at some point, or is it just a convenient scenario

MAYA says:
Yes......the government may indeed become 'interested' in you, but it will not be a problem - and it will not be permitted in any case unless there is a good reason (hardly likely!).  I have had interaction (very much so!) with the government people - many times, from MI5 - but I am very highly trained, and they are not in any way a problem.

MAYA says:
If you accept this as just a 'training' then please do not think "ah, well it isn't that important, just an exercise" ..........treat it as if it were REAL, and in that way interact....... ask them their purpose, and deal with it decisevely with them....above all, INSIST politely but firmly on etiquette at all times, otherwise tell them they must go until they can address you properly.  That's it.

Dark Knight says:
DO I Have to do this

Dark Knight says:
Do I have to go to 4D

MAYA says:
Well, the 'doing' is simply for you to have a good attitude to all this......if you have the attitude then you will not be confronted in the same way, simple as that.  But there will ALWAYS be various kinds of 'scenarios' as you proceed, these are 'tests' to see how you are progressing towards higher 'status'.....rather like 'exams'    I've been there, I know  

MAYA says:
When you 'engage' in interaction you ARE engaging in 4D.

Dark Knight says:
SO if I had died last year during the download, what would have happened

MAYA says:
Firstly, you will die when it is time - not before.  Secondly, please explain this 'download'

Dark Knight says:
The forced channeling of information that occured last year, I'm assuming to get me away from the last two dimwits

MAYA says:
I went through a similar situation, regarding 'downloads' and 'uploads' of various kinds....this occured within the first two weeks of my  'training', and then different kinds later on.  They seemed very dramatic at the time..but I went with the situation with curiosity....and learned many things as a result.  They said they were making a 'copy' of me on the ship, in case I died ... to transfer me

Dark Knight says:
I heard something similar

Dark Knight says:
Transfer you...do you mean soul or personality, traits, etc

MAYA says:
........this was for me to understand more of what was then a completely unknown realm......I had never even heard of channeling at that time!  I was suddenly thrust into the 'alien' thing when I started to investigate it with my Pendulum, and the telepathy came suddenly there and then.

MAYA says:
'transfer' is the <normal> way they travel.......what we would call 'teleportation'........ it is actually what happens when we die.... but they can just transfer their 'soul' (or transfer ours on death), and this is all done via their 'computer' ... which makes a new body at the new location, hence the 'old body' is redundant.  

MAYA says:
But, it was being 'presented' to me as a 'scenario' based on Truth.......for me to explore and ask questions.

Dark Knight says:
The greys, or all of THEM

MAYA says:
Essentially, it is the Greys (the Zeta Reticuli) who are in charge of the 'practicalities' at this time.....the Pleiadians are supervising...... each 'species' though has its own 'computer', and each of the main ones can incarnate on the Earth through their computer (done by 'birth' as we know it).... but they can 'transfer' themselves to any location............

MAYA says:
but in the case of their 'normal' (i.e. not incarnating) travel by teleportation, they create a silicon-based 'vehicle' (since a computer cannot replicate a carbon-based one, due to the inherent random-ness in carbon structure)

Dark Knight says:
So I have been picked up by the greys

MAYA says:
You have been in communication with the Greys (the Zeta .........only the US Government refer to them as the 'greys' in a derogatory and fear inducing sense)

Dark Knight says:
I call them the greys too, sorry but they'll have to deal with it

Dark Knight says:
They used Edi didn't they

MAYA says:
Me: Has DK been 'abducted' by the Zeta at any time?
K: Yes, this was done long ago....and is routine for checking DK's genetic and other related things, and also ongoing for DK to develop.  We are aware of Dk'S difficult past situations.

MAYA says:
I assisted Edi to make contact with her guide, and then later assisted him to be put into contact with the Zeta........this was carefully done VIA his guide.

MAYA says:
Some people have Zeta guides, some have Pleiadian....... they all work together.

Dark Knight says:
They used Edi didn't they

MAYA says:
The difference is in the 'computer'........so, Edi had to be put in touch telepathically with the Zeta by connection THROUGH the Pleiadian interface (like a telephone exchange)..........

MAYA says:
It dpends what you mean by the word 'used'  

Dark Knight says:
They used Edi to further the "government/ET" holdeck play

MAYA says:
No.   I monitored ALL the initial conversations, and I in fact keep a close check on all ongoing conversations with the Zeta that Edi and Fuzziwig and TruthSeeker have had.

Dark Knight says:
Edi was wrong about the government issue, or played along, or talking to someone from a different vantage point

MAYA says:
I followed your posts also........and I am satisfied with the 'state of play' that members are engaging in at this time......it is necessary for eyes to be opened on the AP, and a time of 'diversity'......which is why I went into the background for all that to take place, on the instructions of my guide.

MAYA says:
Edi was trained by me to become a Teacher.......so Edi is still learning (although very proficient by now) many things ongoing.

Dark Knight says:
Did Edi know or not

MAYA says:
Edi has Free Will, to learn at his own pace, and Edi is happy with his progress.

Dark Knight says:
I don't approve of vagueness and free will is not an excuse

MAYA says:
I am not trying to avoid any questions here...... but I cannot discuss another person like that.  So, I am talking to you about YOUR perceptions here, and will answer those direectly in whatever way I am permitted to your benefit.  The truth may or may not be acceptable to you, so it will not be given in that way......only pointers for you to think about, of YOUR OWN Free Will (which you have)

Dark Knight says:
The truth is already unacceptable

MAYA says:
Then talk about what you want to talk about, since Truth is subjective.

Dark Knight says:
Boundaries and morality are not

MAYA says:
Morality is devised by society for people to conform.  Boundaries are fences put up for people to be kept within.   What we are discussing in these subjects lies BEYOND those things.

Dark Knight says:
Boundaries are not fences, and you either have no idea what my concept of a "boundary" is or you are playing with something not so light and nice

MAYA says:
What is 'light and nice' is entirely a matter of perception.......even the most 'evil' people (as perceived by society) did what THEY thought was right, all through history.  Some have been found to be 'right' since, and others society still does not understand why they did those things....and therefore classes anyone as 'evil' according to what a 'church' says.  Each person has their own Free Wil

MAYA says:
and if they restrict their thoughts to what others say they ought to do, then they are giving up that Free Will.   We are not even talking specifics here.

Dark Knight says:
If you recognize only self, what about service to other

Dark Knight says:
And personal responsiblity

Dark Knight says:
I'm being played with and it is inaapropriate

Dark Knight says:
This conversation is ending now

MAYA says:
If you do as others wish, rather than what you wish.......then you are being controlled........it is not good to be controlled, in fact to control is SERVICE TO SELF, by definition.

MAYA says:
I would suggest you stay well within your 'boundaries' (set by others) till you feel differently.......that is Free Will.

Dark Knight says:
I am being played with...I'm blocking you from any further conversation


I couldn't care less if you believe the gov't is attacking me or not. Who is attacking me is not important as how.

If what Mayatnik says here is true, then guides will do anything, break any boundary to teach you a lesson. I cannot and will not believe that, it goes against everything I ever was taught about guides...before all this crap happened to me.

Remember how the Nazis used Jews as test subjects in some of the most inhuman experiments ever devised? They believed the means justified the end, that it was acceptable to sacrifice and torture a person, if the information gained would lead to valuable information with tackling disease or advances in weaponry. The lesson was more valuable than the person.

There has to be trust for growth to occur. There has to room to walk away. If you make the lesson more valuable than the person, then you defeat the entire purpose of coming to the planet (and you are no better than a Nazi yourself as far as I am concerned). There are limits, boundaries which should never be crossed. The wrong sacrifices are made when those limits and boundaries are crossed. NO guide would ever make the lesson more valuable than the person. Of all the voices I hear, the one I trust the most is the one that says, [Dark Knight] do what you think is best. Then I take all the benefits and blunders and claim responsiblity for my actions.

I'm seeing too much crap of people pulling into themselves instead of reaching out to others.

In order to defeat a problem, a person cannot be less than the problem, cannot be equal to the problem, they must be greater than the problem.

People on this site only want to give so much than get upset and whiney when it isn't enough, as if people should be gracious you gave so little while you're bleeding to death (as if it were your hides on the line).

The only one that knows your best interest is you, you are the expert on your own experience. Any positive entity guide will say that. I'm suspicious of the ones that don't (especially the ones that choose to be deliberately vague...vagueness can lead to circular arguments and you can justify just about any action without consequence).

It won't change the people who need to, but it might help someone who needs to hear it and see it.

Thank you Mick for bringing me back to my roots...Hate Crime.

I studied race relations for years and in the begining of my learning, it had suddenly occured to me that the whole "race issue" was just a giant miscommunication problem. If people really understood what was happening in terms of cause and effect, they'd want to change the situation...Which propelled me to write my first letter to the editor (anonymously) to the newspaper of my college campus. I was shocked at the reaction...you would think I had committed capital murder. I learned from that experience that there was such a thing as emotional logic, and it was something I had underestimated in terms of power or strength. People would prioritize personalized prissy emotional offence over the value of another human being in desperate need of being validated.

Many African Americans get passed up by taxis, hear car doors lock, and watch as women clutch their purses as they walk by, but racism doesn't exist, not today, doesn't affect anyone.

What skin color is a Band-Aid again, and why is that the chosen color?

Course the funny thing is, you ask white people about it and the response is "we love everbody." The direct consequences of a passing taxi, locking doors, being invalidated and disrespected as a human being doesn't affect whites personally, and if your senses don't experience something, it's equated with "it doesn't exist."

The invalidation and lack of respect are not "theory," or "opinion," or a "history story." There is a cause and effect with consequences. Point this out to a white person, and instantly they go on the defensive, "You're calling me names I don't deserve, you're such a negative person, how dare you speak to me in such a way."

The strongest lesson that could ever be imparted to another human being, "My hurt feelings, my ego, are more important than your need to be treated as a respected Creation of God."

You act as if life were a giant "opinion" or "theory" that you can just discuss, utterly lacking in consequences to acknowledge. There is such a thing as reality that we all live in and have to make compromises with. Your actions, your words have the power to create and ruin and you take no responsiblity for it whatsoever. You claim credit for things you have no right to claim. And you worry more about getting your ego bruised than another person's suffering and need for compassion. They're little more than an inconvenience that prevents you from walking on, something you have to kick away. You can't function without that safety,...maybe that is a fear in need of confrontation.

I don't have a problem with being positive...I have a problem with a so-called "positive outlook" that is so devoid heart that it is as fake as you can get. Empty light.

See ya.

Hang on Lockmar,

I'll PM you my email address and then I am ending my PM capability. Lockmar there's nothing new I can offer but I can at least keep an open line open to let you know you're not crazy or alone.

quote:Really DK, there is no need to insult - or, do you need to?

Thank you for opening the door and giving me exactly what I need.

Yud-Heh-Vahv-Heh or Yahweh or Jehovah as some would say.

No one believes stronger than I do that you have to take responsiblity for the consequences of your actions....

Why don't you try assuming yours instead acting like such a lazy a**.

quote:I think instead of entities, it draws forward negative emotions in people, and we already saw that this is already true, haven't we? negative emotions and negative entities are not the same, as some people believe they are.

Thank for delineating that boundary for me...I've been quelling over this for weeks trying to figure out what in the hell they were talking about, and you just nailed it on the head. "Negative" has become a generalized boundary encompassing just about everything, and no effort made to categorize according to the appropriate context.

There are no negative emotions! Emotions/thoughts are senses, just like your sense of touch, to help you discern reality. Saying a particular emotion is bad would be akin to saying a particalar sensation of touch is bad because you got burned at the same time the touch sensation was experienced. That does not make a "burning sensation" negative, it exists for a reason, to warn when something is wrong. Same is true for emotions. You keep reacting to how people feel instead of acting and thinking. There are consequences multiple steps ahead, and you're so near sighted you don't even bother to look.

We need help, and we've got people who are over the moon about themselves because they defeat a thought form or a putz, wimpy neg out for food.

I've got to go to work, I'll write more later. I'm not doing the kiauma argument. That is kept a level of boundaries that is too vague, too general and too circular...won on technicalities and not much on substance.

Crystal Shop, I love that place, thanks Crim, I lost it (url) when my hard drive crashed

SD, he's done the spyware firewall route...

Lockmar, have you deleted cookies and internet temp files (I apologize if you did, I know how frightening and frustrating this has got to be)?

You trapped yourself,...I'm ending this argument here, it's not going anywhere.

Saving your skin is not more valuable than another human being...which is what you have to compromise when you stay entirely unto yourself.

Lockmar,

I don't know, but I am going to aask you to try one more thing in case you loose us...draw religious symbols on the computer and monitor and pray for neg energy to lift (yes there will be retaliation, I know). I've been through it, and the praying and symbols have helped when I've had odd computer problems.

Lockmar,

How are things?

quote:If someone wants to murder me then we have conflicting agendas, and the situation must be rectified -

And that's how most of us here are...we didn't seek this crap out. I attracted my attackers because I wanted to teach people how to love and respect one another, and someone didn't like that. We can't walk away from this and most of our attackers/negs/entities are not "devices," except for the ones in me at the moment.

Everybody keeps telling us about our lessons, what about yours? And the one thing I have learned through this experience is that life is not judgment free, especially when boundaries are concerned and conflicting agendas arise. I keep hearing about the lessons we're supposed to be learning, but I still don't see the love and light loonies making an effort to learn a thing.

You have too much freedom and can walk away from too damn much,...maybe that needs to change.

I can direct you to the link in one of my replies above for two direct quotes from Robert Bruce's book.

The boundaries that allow morality to exist and enable the freedom of all need to be enforced, and they can disappear in a sec, ask any Jew, Cambodian, Rwandan, or Croat. Your value is ordained by God, it doesn't mean it's owed to you while your here on this plane.

Child of the Forest:

quote:It is a very true and wise saying. For instance, if someone told you you were made out of slime, would you even entertain that thought? Of course not, because you know you are not. Why then should it be any different when someone makes fun of you or calls you hurtful names? If someone told you you were made from slime, you would laugh and say, "That's ridiculous," or something similar. You can do the same thing when people say things to hurt you. Just laugh and say, "That's ridiculous."

Because the attacks most of us are going through here are not the monochrome, singular events you describe...if they were, negs wouldn't get past the first step.

Your senses of the physical, your emotional senses, your mental senses, and spiritual senses are all employed in a balanced way to indentify reality and interact with it. You think these b*stards just attack one sense (your thoughts) one at a time in a linear way and that's it?!

They go after ALL of them either instantaneously or in an orchestrated, complex fashion....if they attack one part of one sense then yeah, I think I am pretty confident the other 99% of my senses could handle it. But if 75% of my senses are attacked simultaneously or in an orchestrated fashion, how well do you think the remaining 25% can cope, especially when that 25% has to be divied up for every part of life (work, relationships, etc...what do you think, it can be dedicated entirely to the attacks?).

People talk about the senses being attacked as if you could just dissociate from them and walk away...there is a limit to what you dissociate from. You can't dissociate entirely from yourself.

You can't continuously walk away from everything, tell everybody to "GET OVER IT" every time,...you won't be able to create that positive life, feel that love...it won't exist anymore because YOU WALKED AWAY FROM IT ALL! WHY?! Because you didn't want to deal with it. You can't walk away forever unless you plan on compromising everything including Creation and the Creator.

What does it take for people to see how multi-dimensional, multi-lateral this experience is? People are watching a 3D movie without the red/green plastic glasses and you're missing a huge piece.

quote:An example of UFO styled Conspiracies or theories is given by Anna Hayes in an e-mail received in February 2002. quoted from site

I'm sorry, but as one who hates, Hates, HATES conspiracy theories this doesn't sound like anything substantial. She supplies information within a particular context without giving any support or basis for why that particular context would exist.

And if you're interested in Pleiads, Orions, Sirians, Lyrans, etc, I'd recommend Lyssa Royal and Keith Priest and their work before this dame: http://www.lyssaroyal.com/books1.htm particularly their book, "The Prism of Lyra" which from what I heard has been updated (may have to get it myself, when I have money again).

I don't have a problem believing that some ET groups are neg and some are positive, but if you're going to have me believe that the entire system is evil and out to get us...I've had that game played on me once, sorry, not going for it again.

Shedt's thread called Shocks, finally, yeah, after re-reading it...after I posted this.

Here is an attachment how the name of God is written in Hebrew

Sweetheart I read all of it, where would you like me to begin?

OK for starters, Robert Bruce, whose site this is, is not some New Age Crackpot. He is good, and knowledgeable at what he does, so you can trust any info he puts out. His book, which becomes the Mantra of this forum is Practical Psychic Self Defense. There is also a book out about Psychic Vampires (yes there are such things) which is written by one Joe H. Slate, PhD. Bruce's book and Slate's are listed in my signature section down below. Here's a thought, use the money to buy the books instead of giving them to the dingbat. []

Another thing, the influencing...

Quite a few of us here have knowledge about it because we are subjected to it everyday. This is going to be hard if you're as young as I think you are, but not impossible, and you can get through this, you sound like you're in a lot better shape then some of us.

Think of it like this...know how you have five senses, sight, sound, touch, smell, taste? What your senses do is help you determine what reality is. For example, you place your hand on a furnace, your senses tell you it feels physically hot through your touch.

Emotions also act as senses, as do thoughts. Your thoughts and emotions tell you what reality is. In your case, as is with many of ours, it sounds like the emotions and thoughts you are feeling either are being implanted (not yours) or are yours and are be pushed to a degree not appropriate for the situation.

Duh, right, you're being emotionally manipulated. Yes in the general sense of the word this is true. But I am trying to get you to see something a bit more specific, and it means examining what looks on the surface as "obvious." What she is doing to you would be akin to someone gaining control over your nerve endings and sending signals to your brain so that every time you touch that furnace, your brain is telling you what you are feeling is cold...think about it. How would that alter your sense of reality? How would you function?

The key to fighting this, is discerning which feelings are yours and which are the "fakers"...and it sounds like you have already started. You have to start trying to get to know yourself, how YOU feel, how YOU think. Yeah I know, how do you do that when you're being manipulated at the same time? I live with that everyday. You can do it, because dingbat is not perfect (in fact she sounds far from it). She can't be going 24/7...will she have her wins, yes, and so will you. Be persistent and you'll make it.

You're at an age where you're formulating the personal relationship boundaries you need to to stop this. That's what's making this difficult.

There's more I'll write later on, I have to think about how I can write it so you can understand. But take care. Look at the thread CriminalMind63 started with my name in the heading. Crim listed all kinds of links which are excellent if you want to check them out.

Click here to see it:

http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=9764

Another site I would recommend is http://www.paganpath.com/

Good Luck and keep in touch

quote:I want to know how paranormal things work. Maybe its so different from our ideas that it shouldnt be called karma. Is it based on some objective rules of good and bad (doubtful) or subjective (more likely)? Who makes the rules (if there are any)? I dont mean there would be paranormal police that punish you if you disobey. If I tinkle somebody off, and never again physically interact with them or anybody they know, what power do their thoughts have over events around me, to make me have a bad day?

You're making this way, Way, WAY too complex. You're reducing everything to an energy exchange in a science kind of way and grasping at the external instead of recognizing the internal.

Despite what people think, EVERYTHING is subjective, objectiveness is simply deafening your own subjectiveness to hear someone else's subjectiveness.

What is true on one level is true on all levels (how it works in the physical is how it works in the paranormal, internally)...don't read more into that statement than necessary and overanalyze. You're turning the recognizable into an alien then wondering why you can't see it.

I can tell you now, there are a set of rules, or boundaries which are in place. You start out recognizing them in generalities then they become more intricate, multidimensional and complex as you grow. But there is something in place to nundge you in a certain direction. If there wasn't, anyone could make up anything, negs could create and successfully implement their own philosophy and structure without challenge...the Universe would have been overwhelmed a long time ago.

We learn by challenging and being challenged.

You seem more worried about getting caught than seeing the boundary or challenge as an expression of love to the individual you may offend, and see the mirror reflected back to you that you are also that valuable.

I'm Catholic, attended a Catholic girls academy for high school, and I am as open to different things as I am because of that school,...world religons was a religon course we had to take, along with an entire course on why we should/should not believe in God. We were encouraged to question.

I think the problem is with the libraian may not be because of a clash of Catholicism. I think it may be because Robert Bruce's stuff is not a separate class of organized religion (like Buddhism, Hinduism, etc.).

Had you been reading about reincarnation from a website authorized by some organized religous belief, maybe the libraian wouldn't have said anything. To him/her, Robert Bruce could be just some quack swami job, like 90% of mystics I'm sad to say.

quote:If you have some energy, you can go deep into astral where more energy is. If you get that energy, you can go to a place with more energy and try to take some.

You take energy instead of receiving it?

Shedt, last I heard, if we were all 100% balanced on everything...I think that would be declared as insanity. But there is being a little off vs a lot. I'm not seeing the difference between a pin prick and a gunshot being only a little off.

Shedt,

Sorry i was reading fast and totally overlooked the line about you being straightened out, I started a new thread out of frustration. I thought it was here, that's why I was so frustrated.

http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=9819

But about your night terrors...

My experiences started in 1993 (minus the attacks), oddly enough, during a major UFO flap that was occurring in the Midwest where I was living at the time.

I was still in the "I'm not an abductee" frame of mind and even though I noted my odd experiences as they happened I did not connect them to the reality that I was an abductee, my chemistry major I was currently working on prevented that. My focus was my degree and race relations.

John E Mack's book "Abduction" came out, finally got it in 1994, life never was the same after that. I felt an odd compulsion like I had to write to Mack's people, which really isn't unusal, many abductees experience this compulsion.

What was unusual in my case was that I didn't want to write to them about abduction, I felt compelled to write to them about race relations. I fought against it thinking I was nuts, or thinking they'd see me as nuts. But the compulsion was like having a drill sargent on your case constantly.

Finally I gave in and wrote...sealed the envelopes, left them on my desk to send in the morning. Went to sleep...

I found myself in a place that resembled a dungeon lit in a dark blood red light. To my side was a spider the size of a Volkswagon with a smiling face. Over my opposing side was an entry way with webbing across it. Inside the web, was the upper torso of a man. The lower half had been eaten away and the inside of the torso was illuminated with the red light, the organs eaten to shreads by the spider. What made the situation all the more appalling was that the man was still alive and writhing in agony. As I looked at this scene, a thought was being impressed in me that the man in the web was my soul...

....the spider was eating my soul...

I woke up literally gasping trying to shake off the thought and feeling. As I did I looked around my room and felt a strange energy. I also had a punch in the gut sensation. Oddly, as terrified as I was, I went back to sleep quickly.

Now I was in a college lecture hall working feverishly away on a writing project. My classmates sat there with death mask looking faces, totally expressionless. Next I was sitting outside my "professor's" office waiting for help with my project, but he wouldn't accept me. Just kept taking other students ahead of me. Finally frustrated I angrily confronted him and demanded help. This prof resembled the tall man from the Phantasm movies, tall, thin, ugly expression on his face. I'm only 5ft. He bent over, got in my face, and asked, "What do you think you're doing, little girl, it's not like anyone is going to listen to you, why don't you quit while you're still a head?"

I woke up startled and had no clue what to make out about what had happened to me.

I mailed the letters, some months past, and the drill sargent came back, insisting I write another set. So I did...

Then something really strange happened while I was asleep. I was now someplace where Neo-nazis had taken over the world. Feeling the need to protect people, I started hiding people from the neo-nazis. Well, at some point I got caught, and that was when this pseudo dream turned into a weird abduction. I was someplace that looked like a cross between a greenhouse and a nightmarish science lab, lying on a table, surrounded by the neo-nazis...who were short, skinny jet black leathery skinned looking monstrosities with charcoal cloudy colored eyes. I was lying on a table and they were letting me know they were going to do something to me akin to Dr Mengele. Just then they all ran out and a group of greys ran in with a tall Nordic male. The lead grey bent over and said, "Don't be afraid, we won't let them hurt you, we would never, ever let them hurt you." I was lifted off the table and carried out of there. Next thing I knew I was being carried through a field and onto a ship. The scene jumps again, I'm lying on a new table with the greys running frantically around the room in a mad dash to prep everything. The Nordic male was standing near the table, leaned over to me and said, "We have to check you out to make sure you are ok, but the check has to be thorough so they're going to put you out." I vaguely remember nodding my head. I went out there and woke up (seemingly instantaneously) in my bed.

I can't say if you have a neg problem or not, I don't have third eye ability that is working properly, and really that is a something you have to feel out on your own. I can't decide it for you.

I can say there are simularities and RB talks about sleep paralysis in his book.

Sorry, kid, that's all I can say.