tides2dust

[tides2dust]

This morning I started feeling in-between again and saw somebody. Holding on to his image kind of pulled me out from my body. He looked young, filipino(or cambodian)- had a purple hawaiin shirt and was in a room with a guitar. I wondered if I was him, or if I was just observing. I remember when he looked at his hand it felt like I was looking at my own hand. At first I couldn't really hold on to his image. It was like a faint flash, then I'd see outlines of his environment- and outlines of himself. I had to try to bring the image into focus. After that I was back in my room and a wide-eyed spirit of some sort(was like a partial gaseous/cute looking creature) was telling me I'd have a hard time overcoming something- I think he was talking about all the sensations I was enjoying of feeling in-between. He told me it was a lazy energy that I couldn't resist. I thought it was strange because I just wanted to explore- and so I pushed the creature/entity out of my minds eye and phased through my bedroom door- I went downstairs to the front door and saw the girl dog outside sitting by our bush. Strange, if left to her own she usually runs through the neighbors yard and we have to chase after her. She saw me, and was smiling wagging her tail, the sun looked so nice. I tried phasing through the front door- it was more difficult than my bedroom door. I heard my parents car start- which woke me up- thinking they were actually leaving I wanted the chance to say goodbye. Funny thing is they hadn't left yet, but I did feel really good after having the experience.

[tides2dust]

Last night/early morning I was able to project 3 or 4 times. Although I think this might have been a dream about projecting more than, actively projecting? Each time I left my body I noticed how easy it was, I guess because I am usually so absorbed in the sensations and the splitting off. I am not sure how I had so many opportunities, but apparently I took it. By the 2nd and 3rd time I ran into a girl who told me her name, Robyn. She had blonde hair and was tall. I asked her how she was able to meet me and talk to me in this space(my house). She told me she didn't know and could only seem to project on Wednesdays(It's Friday). The last thing I remember her saying was, "I hope this is white magic not black magic." And I asked her to repeat herself, because I didn't know what she meant. She did, she said, "I just hope we're practicing good magic" she said kind of leaned up against a wall, with a shrugged or shied disposition. I don't think I told her anything as a response but instead had a dream that I was somewhere else entirely and a man was walking a giant tiger in a residential neighborhood. The tiger got loose and I was trying to find a hiding place- people looked on and the tiger attacked and killed the man who thought he was stronger than the tiger- that's when others tried running too. I found an older woman in her backyard and she let me hide in her house. I had a couple other dreams after that.

[tides2dust]

I had a song play out in my dream and when I listened to it this morning I heard a strange knock in my house as if I'm supposed to pay attention to the lyrics. Not a typical OBE but still unique. It makes me wonder about all the help we receive from the astral. 

[tides2dust]

Still not much "projection" in the sense that I am aware of leaving my body. I am experiencing non-physical energies and having very interesting recurring themes in dreams.

Lately in my dreams I am meditating- a friend is giving me blessings and protecting me with the word Babaji. In another I am in a classroom setting and witnessing a Guru. And most recently a Guru anoints my forehead with some kind of oil which may have sandalwood in it. By the end of that dream I wake up, still in a dream, naked laying on concrete under a bright sun. I see my body changing between old and young and I finally pick a form to solidify before waking up into my current body/awareness/immediate reality. I found it interesting that I woke up in a dream and crawled back into this waking reality from it.

I was also visited by a Hawaiian spirit guide/warrior who left me with a message.

Another interesting thing that has happened is that I had a dream about my Grandfather and some alarming events that coincide with elements in the dream. And then a phantom force threw my cell phone across a room and my last girlfriend was a witness.

Now that our relationship has ended I think I may get a chance to experience the act of projecting again. I'm not sure how they are related, but it seems when I am not so preoccupied by connections in this immediate life it is easier to observe being able to detach and catching the opportunity to experience leaving the body. Even though I am not actively observing leaving the body, I still think I am having the experience- it is so faint but I can kind of recall the feeling and even have in-between memories of exploring the astral space before going off into the dreams.

Maybe I am also just tired from working 6/7 days for the last year and a half. Lots of factors to consider... But I think there is another opportunity for more immersion soon... Shwew I'm tired... But wanted to update my journal... Cheers, astral peoples. 

[tides2dust]

I had woken up to use the restroom. Upon falling back asleep I project out of my body quite easily. My mind somehow relocates my starting position to my old bedroom across the hall. As if I am rising out of my body from that room. I mentally comment how easy it was to sit up and separate from my body. I can even see the skin tone on the backside of my hands- observing my astral limbs- arms stretched out and fingers spread apart. There's a weird gloss in the empty space between my vision and my hands. I decide to slowly walk towards the door and notice the hall light on the other side. As I walk up to the door I hear the floor creaking beneath me. This strikes me as odd and is something I actively take note of, I don't normally hear my footsteps when walking around in my astral body. I seamlessly phase through the door and am observing the sensations. This too is getting easier, and I find it pleasant. Phasing through the door feels like a bubble pushing through matter(instead of popping).

The tone shifts as I move slowly down the stairs and it begins to feel like there's someone else in the space with me. I try not to fear, but feel a creeping sensation of uneasiness rising in my chest- I am moving even slower, treading very carefully as I position my point of focus just right. I can't shake whatever feeling surrounds me. As I turn the corner I look off to the left into the living room and see no reflection from the blackness of the TV, I think maybe someone is laying down on the couch. I try not to stay here too long. I proceed down the hall with caution and look over to the right, the bathroom door is ajar and I begin hissing very aggressively/defensively at whatever is now in my space. It is a unique and threatening sound and I realize I have no reflection in the bathroom mirror. I wake back up in bed.

I lay on my back with my eyes open- there is still a lingering sensation of uneasiness. It feels early... I begin to wonder- did I project out from my body or was this a lucid dream? As I recall things of note, like waking up in my old bedroom instead of the one I'm currently sleeping in- or that the hall light was left on even though it is actually off- the floor creaks around my door(just like in the projection experience). The house feels deathly silent as I hone my focus in on the sound. What is lingering just out there? It's not heavy enough to be a person, is it the dog? It takes maybe a few steps before getting even lighter and disappearing altogether. Definitely not the dog. I decide to log the experience, time 3:27AM.

PS, after the creaking noise disappeared I noticed a snapping of light in my eyes/lines quickly moving about in my room.

[tides2dust]

Last night/early morning I was able to project 3 or 4 times. Although I think this might have been a dream about projecting more than, actively projecting? Each time I left my body I noticed how easy it was, I guess because I am usually so absorbed in the sensations and the splitting off. I am not sure how I had so many opportunities, but apparently I took it. By the 2nd and 3rd time I ran into a girl who told me her name, Robyn. She had blonde hair and was tall. I asked her how she was able to meet me and talk to me in this space(my house). She told me she didn't know and could only seem to project on Wednesdays(It's Friday). The last thing I remember her saying was, "I hope this is white magic not black magic." And I asked her to repeat herself, because I didn't know what she meant. She did, she said, "I just hope we're practicing good magic" she said kind of leaned up against a wall, with a shrugged or shied disposition. I don't think I told her anything as a response but instead had a dream that I was somewhere else entirely and a man was walking a giant tiger in a residential neighborhood. The tiger got loose and I was trying to find a hiding place- people looked on and the tiger attacked and killed the man who thought he was stronger than the tiger- that's when others tried running too. I found an older woman in her backyard and she let me hide in her house. I had a couple other dreams after that.

I wonder if this is related: my Aunts name is Robyn. I hadn't connected this at the time, but I gifted my Aunt a book and she decided to return it to me without reading it. My Aunt is something like a Christian-Yogi(In my eyes) very beautiful and spiritual but she made it known to me that she was worried something I sent her might be misleading or challenging to her faith(like a false prophet). I wonder if this AP is in anyway connected to what has recently transpired.

[Nameless]

I think your insight is very good.

[tides2dust]

Thank you Nameless.

I'm my worse enemy at times.

~ <3 ~

[Nameless]

Yes, I know what you mean.

[tides2dust]

Had a really nice message from a familiar 'platoon' or... energy.

It was, "and since all of us have our own thoughts, its the witness that makes us feel pure."

It was during a dream and a comforting feeling there with it.

[tides2dust]

This mornings projection was, different. It is almost bed time now too- so I am recording for the first time since then.

I woke up at 5AM with a regular amount of energy. I was somewhat tired, but also awake. I thought maybe I could use this opportunity to meditate. Instead I decided to lay on my back, knowing my alarm would go off at 7:20AM and thought I'd welcome an out of body if one were to come.

When the onset of sleep paralysis started to happen, I was overcome with joy. I used to be scared, but it had been so long since I've been in this in-between state that I found my self very welcoming. I'm a little embarrassed to say, but as I was drifting off into a semi-conscious state of sleep and awake I found my self pleading/praying to god for physical, intimate connection.

Well... I think the prayer was answered. I do think there was something/someone else with me as I became more aware of existing outside the immediate anchor point for awareness. I started to project and saw things as black and white only, more surreal. It was actually like wispy shadows and brilliant shining white light. As I attempted a traditional, "bodily exit" I saw my hand in this black and white world as a gentle smoldering smokey shadow.

I immediately noticed another body laying next to me, I think, projecting in a similar manner. To my right, I saw a brilliant white light for a hand. Instinctively I put my shadow hand up towards it, and its hand towards mine. As our palms came together it was as if there was a sheer electric barrier between us- as contact was made this invisible barrier crackled. It was black and white, but felt like lightning around us. Or like a strobe effect.

I can't remember much more but started to feel very aroused. I was half awake, half asleep and I found my self laying on my back- I don't know if I was dreaming this or actually raising my arms and legs up under the blanket. I was receiving, wanting more... And I don't know if what I encountered was an aspect of my self- and I could not identify a male or female energy. But it felt very good.

After this I started to drift, still in-between I noticed an object in the corner of my room that is not actually there. The environment started to shape-shift. This object turned into a dramatized face made of stone, its transformation was like that of a gargoyles. I believe I was starting to dream at this point...

What was strange about the dream was, I was lucid but had no energy. I was aware that I was sleeping in my dream, the characters in my dream(first my cousin) told the other characters that I was sleeping- there was this weird blend of- am I dreaming or am I awake in my room? Like I was conscious of my parents moving around, my Mother getting ready for work- I was becoming self conscious if they saw me in such an odd and aroused state. And so the characters in my dream, back to my cousin, said I was hallucinating.

The last part of the dream I can recall, is that I was in the car with my family- and I was asking them why I could see Susan talking to another woman. Susan is a family friend who has since passed away. I saw Susan standing there, and she saw me looking at her. She smiled and nodded her head, as if to say, that's right- I am here. I'm with you all right now. At this point I was not feeling as lucid in the dream but that the dream was in more control like a movie. I remember telling my Sister- and my family again thought I was hallucinating- that something was wrong with me. But then my Sister started to see Susan... and my Mother started to believe it- until we drove up just a little closer and it was no longer Susan but a woman that looked like her.

I woke up with absolutely no energy. I could not keep my eyes open, I could not roll out of bed. I felt like I had been zapped of all energy. It interest me that even in the dream after the OBE I was sleeping. I wanted to keep sleeping but had to pull my self out for work. I tried hard to force my self awake- and it was a challenge. It was a morning for coffee for sure. It was a stark contrast to when I had initially awoken at 5AM, here I continually fell back asleep unable to keep my eyes open or my mind awake.

[GrumpyRabbit]

That's a cool one, Tides! I'm always totally sapped of energy, too, after an experience. It's almost like having been drugged and feeling the aftereffects. I just had a dream last night that I was mostly passed out from drinking too much, and a couple other people thought i was sleeping (i.e., fully passed out), and I was curled up on my side in the fetal position (probably like how I was actually in bed) and they were carrying me around. No lucidity, but that weird dream of yourself sleeping, or nearly sleeping. I can't remember who wrote it, which book, but someone wrote about projecting and seeing other people projecting but they weren't lucid, they were sleeping/dreaming, and just sorta...going by? floating by? Not sure I don't remember. Maybe experiences like these are related to that!

[tides2dust]

Thank you Grumpy for your interest. It was strange for me to journal because I identify as nature intended- male. I am used to giving, especially when it comes to sexual exchange. To confront this aspect of self, or this unknown gender entity- to feel like I was receiving was both exciting and a little embarrassing later. Not unwelcomed just different. My energy has always been on this cusp of masculine/feminine, and certain people bring about one over the other. Like a type of harmonious exchange. When I cut the caffeine and meditate regularly- I feel more in tune with a gentle and quiet nature. I've always known these things, but to be is most always a cherished experience.

There's an old song lyric in my head now, "You can't go to Zion and wear jerry curls, can't tell the boys from the girls."

I enjoy duality and all these beautiful forms Mother Nature blesses us with.

Even more strange was the sexual arousal was not solely focused on the groin but more like in the chest and completely over my entire body.

I also wonder what that invisible wall was between us- despite the silence, the static cackle was observed as being very loud. Like watching lightning on a silent film.

Well... That's my caffeinated in-between-work rant.

Cheers! 

[tides2dust]

It seems my subconcious is doing real digging in the realm of masculine/feminine energies and exploring some deeper desire. Perhaps it is a longing, a love for a partner manifest in the physical or to be reacquainted with a true love from some deeper lineage.

I am saying this because these thoughts have come about prior to the OBE. I even found my self reflecting on all my true loves in this life. All though we are no longer in contact, each one was so special- and each one has left me with a gift I can cherish. While our very human personalities came to a deteriorating exchange, in our separation I find all that I am grateful for. I can say each one was a true love. That is nice for me.

Well... I think I was longing really bad just recently as is clear with my pleading to God just prior to the OBE.
And last night I dreamt and the night before I had more dreams around friends and partners, girls and sex- not that I was having sex- but that there was the presence of sexual energy(something I also cherish) and there must be a type of sorting out even in the subconcious activity.

I am very fond of animal totems. My personal bird is the mocking bird- and it represents my connection to Sufism. Last night I was visited by a snake and we became friends. I was prepared to receive its bite, and instead he helped clear a critter off the top my head.

I am looking at different meanings behind the snake and some lore from various cultures, to my surprise- I found something that aligns with these thoughts:

Snake Meaning and Symbolism

Snake symbolic meaning, overwhelmingly and in various cultures, deals with primordial life force and usually turns our attention to gender supremacy (both male and female).

Consequently, snakes span the symbolic bridge between lunar and solar associations as well as aspects between water and fire.

Coiled within this polarity, we clearly see symbolism of duality and the search for balance.

Excerpt taken from:
http://www.whats-your-sign.com/snake-symbolic-meaning.html

[tides2dust]

Not really astral projection but...

Last night early morning as I lay on my back I saw a very bright white light forming in my right peripheral. All lights were off, it was around 3AM. I felt like there was someone here, but as soon as the light went so did the feeling of a presence.

I was wide awake. The day was very good, I thought it was full-moon energy/activity related. But I wonder if it's more. Aside from large amounts of positive energy I was on my way to yoga when a light in my right eye brought my attention to a license plate. I was in my car on the highway when I noticed it. I was actually deep in thought feeling joy and something much deeper- love for a type of spiritual union. It was during that thought I saw the license plate, "All God."

Both of these things happened in the same day and both observations came into my right peripheral. I'm sure they are related.

[tides2dust]

A place in my dreams that felt different from my dreams,

...
Another is a room with my Mother. There are three medium sized pillars inside a building with flames resting at the top of each and an altar with fire in front. The pillars are covered by a transparent blanket of white light draped over the flames, their energy is like a gentle spinning vortex. The room is more like...  an amber hallway. Stone walls, gentle light. Everything is, alive- a beautiful and slow moving energy. The same way I toyed with the flame from holding the match I am practicing on the altar. I watch the flame rise and the flame on the center pillar behind it does the same, while the other two glow. And as I descend the flame, so do the fires atop the pillars. I stop and watch the fires return to normal. I am mesmerized by the white, see-through blankets draped over each pillar- they remain unaffected. This was the shortest part of my dream, but the most attention to detail I can recall. There was a very special feeling about this room or hall... it was captivating and time was not the same here. I believe I witnessed this space without a body. I can see, feel, the room even now in the back of my mind- it feels as if it exist outside time as I know it.

[tides2dust]

I woke up early around 4:25AM, had an icey-cold water and decided it would be an opportune time to project.

I was on/off about projecting or not, for some reason I was feeling more vulnerable than normal- like maybe someone was in the room with me already. For this reason I found more comfort lying on my side. To my surprise an opportunity to project was still present. It was less focus-oriented. I think my desire to rest was interfering with the experience. Normally I can trace our how I exit my body, observe the sensations and feel my environment. With this I kind of just- remembered I was in the desired state and next thing I know I am floating towards my door and going down the stairs. I try to leave the front door of my house and am sent back to my body.

I accept that I can't get far and try a different method. I start thinking about a person and they appear in profile view in my minds eye, and slowly they start turning to face me.

After this I fall into a dream.

[tides2dust]

I haven't posted in a while because I haven't had the traditional experience of projection I'm used to. I've been maintaining a dream journal. Last night I dreamt there was a man in my room, he looked almost identical to me, sitting in the corner. He had crazed eyes and he was unafraid to stare me down. His stare made me so uncomfortable, and he was just sitting there 'loudly' without saying a word. When I woke up I told my self I wasn't going to bother trying to remember any of it. There was a lot of malice there. I hope that's not me... Then again, I'm not above acting out in anger...

Just recently I've made some very important discoveries. OMCasey has really helped me with this, so I'd like to think I've made a friend along the way- one whom I've met and made here. When she channeled a being for me, an aspect of my Self- she channeled Mother. Mother has come through, in a dream.

I never understood the trials people have posted up here- and to dream that I my self had recently gone through a 'test' or 'game design' I was actually quite displeased. I could feel it a dream, almost like- why bother with this? But these feelings were bullheaded. I am actually in quiet wonder- awestruck by all the answers coming together over years and years. Things that I've thought, are proving themselves true. But that doesn't mean what I think is always right. On the contrary, I'm getting the much desired context my Soul had longed for. Yes I still believe in my fallen angel memories. And I think memories can be shared intimately with unseen beings.

The merging of OM- and hosting abigail during my AP shared somewhere in this journal might be my future daughter. I can't say for certainty. Just a feeling like- a potential candidate was checking me out in the astral.

Back to this 'test.' The woman... God. Goddess to come forward is Ishtar. It's all God. All of us, everything. God. One God. But this was the form communicating- and I learned, after the dream- that Ishtar is closely related to the Green Man. My brain still goes numb from how mind blowing this has been for me. Their history and lore is a dynamic persistent through various cultures.

When I first made a connection to green man a green breasted peacock literally pulled out in the road on my way to work, and shortly after a rose petal was found laying at the front door of my work. This is serious communication from an unseen intelligence.

Well I think the dreams before Ishtar have had a heavy emphasis on my changes/desires- like I am near-ready for a Wife and Child. Not quite yet... But maybe when you send these kind of signals to the Universe- your 'guides' check in. Thus my recent "test" of a dream. And I do call them guides now. They appear in dreams and in moments that help define my journey. Only recently can I say I know who my guides are.

Ishtar is Mother. And perhaps we all share a similar journey here on Earth. This local universe- and all of its rules and mysteries. Maybe we are all a part of Ishtar and Al Khadir. Like this region of time/space is reserved for specific lessons- despite our various forms/incarnations- we are all riding this ship together. They are one, as are we. It's been, truly mind blowing.

Well... If anyone has experience with the peacock angel or Ishtar I am happy to read about your accounts.
That's all for now... Thank you. 

[shineling]

Hey Tides2dust,

I like the Greenman too he's very nature orientated. When I was young I spent a lot of time in the woods. I saw some incredible stuff. Maybe even the Greenman himself (I think).

Sounds like you are on a great adventure. You might enjoy Zen Buddhism as well. it helped me see that beyond all the Spirit's manifestations is an ordering Silence. It's empty and it's full. It helped me reach my center of quietness.

I agree with you that on some level we are all sharing one reality. Maybe it's many different journeys but One single journey too.

Keep us posted on your progress. 

[floriferous]

You might enjoy Zen Buddhism as well. it helped me see that beyond all the Spirit's manifestations is an ordering Silence. It's empty and it's full. It helped me reach my center of quietness.

You may also feel this silence in the midst of all Spirit's manifestations. That everpresent felt sense of Being experienced as every moment.

[tides2dust]

Yes, that is a beautiful sensation. I am discovering that the green man and Ishtar are one in the same. Just forms for us here as unique personalities- but that sensation you described is something I live for. Something available to us all. Those in-between moments. Sometimes I'm able to feel it in the most random ways, they don't have to be specifically reserved for 'in-between.' I used to call it, existing outside my self. It's the closest I get to feeling my real self, and my true Love.  I do practice- and I'm okay with where I'm at, there's no expectation to create that sensation ritually. I am learning I am grateful for the feeling, realizing the God potential is carried inside each and every one of us. And still more, it is an intelligence able to exist on its own and Guide us, intimately so.

Shineling, I believe you saw the green man. And thank you floriferious for the reminder.

[tides2dust]

I got to project. I believe I was dreaming and started realizing, in the dream, that I was dreaming. I started to see my body laying in bed. I was so tired, and instead of actually getting up I told my self I'll just pull my self out from my body. I was surprised how easy it was- and so as I approached my bedroom door I again told my self with confidence that I would simply phase through my door. I once more felt how tired I was but I stuck my hands out and pushed through with ease. I was pleased, noting my success. I started to glide down the hall and towards the stairs. I think this is where things got a little strange. I saw the front door and dark shadows on the other side of the glass. They looked like a silhouette of trees up against the door.

It was in that moment I started to lose touch with my projection and things began to turn into a dream. Instead of going out the front door I went down the hall and towards the kitchen. I found Mom in the laundry room folding laundry. I told my self I should leave, I wouldn't want to disturb her- I don't think she could see me. I wondered if she could feel someone in the room with her though? It seemed like for a moment she recognized someone else was in the room with her.

Instead of gliding around I found my self back in my bedroom. The door was open. That's how I knew something was off. I again felt my body laying in bed but I remember telling my self that my bedroom door is actually closed in real life. After that I woke up, realizing I was dreaming again.

I think the initial projection was true because the door was closed- it could have turned into a dream when I started losing the energy to hold my self in, 'active awareness'- instead I became more of a passive observer.

Or, everything could have been a dream and all that was just a mind f**k. =P I don't think that's the case. I did have quite a few dreams before and after the experience.

PS,

I later noticed Mom actually started laundry early in the morning and even folded some of the clothes I thought I saw her folding. I will ask her about it this evening.

[shineling]

That is so excellent that you were able to slip out of body. It's not that hard is it?  Go over that feeling of separating and next time you go to sleep try again. You really don't have to be that asleep to slip out. You can even force it a little if you're still too awake.

Congrats!

[tides2dust]

Thanks shineling. I tried last night. I am brought back to the basics. I've been forced to try and control my thoughts as I sleep in order to dismiss physical ailments. What happens is I start the internal dialogue, then it takes a life of its own. Idea's and images start to flash and the mind will willingly travel with these impulses up to an extent- until I am brought back to my physical self or realize I am no longer controlling the direction of my thoughts. I don't care to control that process- but I do care to remain cognizant enough to catch that in between moment in order to keep a certain level of clarity and as you've said- try to slip out again. 

[tides2dust]

I projected out of my body early morning. It most likely happened because my thoughts were going in a direction I was not comfortable with, specifically humoring Satan which I thought was odd. I think it is my very child like ego, an impatient attitude lashing out when being put in its place. By demanding the direction of my mind I found my self out of body, likely because I was not allowing my self to slink into slumber. I knew I was in my room but I could not see anything. It was pitch black, I only knew I was standing on my bed. Once I realized I was out of body I decided to levitate and put my back against the ceiling.

I decided to project out the door and realized my Mom and Sister were up. Mom hadn't noticed me but April did. She tried to engage me, and I was a bit perplexed by the entire situation. I felt like I was actively witnessing my self go from astral projection to a lucid dream. The characters of the dream did not know what to do, neither did I. That's when everything reset and I once again found my self projecting from my bedroom. This time everything was visible- I could see my bedroom. I repeated the same levitation and proceeded out the door. The OBE was shifting to a dream, and all the meanwhile I was actively aware of the shift. I was so curios it felt like I was dreaming about recording this observation here on the forum. I was taking notes in real time- interacting with dream characters every so often. It seems at a certain point I went from a traditional OBE into a dream which became less and less lucid- eventually I became simply an observer and by the end of the everything I was dreaming of a totally different time era- late 1970's, Robin Williams and two quirky characters with surreal elements. I ended up waking to beautiful violin music which lingered a few seconds after the dream ended.